Hi. So the answer to “ why I haven’t been blogging ” isn’t a one sentence answer. I’d even say it’s not a 1 paragraph answer. The past year of my life has taught me a LOT about myself. Not only has it taught me a lot about myself but it has helped me start to truly reflect on my life, my choices and where I want to go from this point on.
I could sit here and say “oh I was busy with school and pom and just didn’t have time” and while those things are true, they aren’t the whole truth.
The truth is, I’ve always been a very insecure person. And truthfully, I don’t think I come across this way. I’ve always had very close friends and lots of acquaintances, I’m pretty good at making new friends and being outgoing so why would I come off as insecure? If I’m being candid with you, there’s a lot of things that I want to do that I have convinced myself that I am too afraid to do. For one reason or another it always comes down to this: fear of failing.
In today’s society, putting yourself out there is extremely difficult. You WILL have someone else’s opinion in your ear. There WILL be someone who says “why would you do that, it’s not going to work” or “you’re wasting your time”. I’ve already had people say that to me about many of the things I would like to pursue. But for every person that gives me a negative comment, there are 5 more giving me support and telling me “you SHOULD do that” or “I think that’s a GREAT idea”. And the sad truth is that the negative thoughts and opinions always outshine the positive ones in my head. I really wish that wasn’t the case, so I’m working on it. I’m sure I’m not the only one that this happens to.
When I started this blog, I was so nervous to show it to anyone. I didn’t want people to laugh at me or think it was a dumb idea. It was never ending. “What will people think? What will people think? What will people think?” But one day I said “You know what? Forget them. I want to blog and if anyone has anything negative to say about it, that’s on them.” It took a long time to get to that point and I wish I could sit here and tell you it was easy. If anything, some people will just be jealous that they didn’t have the courage to start a blog themselves. It’s a big deal to put yourself out there and you should never let anyone tell you otherwise (preaching to myself as well).
The bottom line is, I haven’t been blogging because I’ve been insecure about it. I’ve learned the ropes and how to promote it, heck, I’ve even made money off this little old thing. So why step back? Good question. But no more of that. I want to pursue this and grow it even bigger. This is MY platform to reach people and I want to use it to the fullest. And that starts today. I am speaking this into the universe so I hope you’ll support me in this whether this is your 1st post you’ve read from me or the 15th.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, I just want to do what I want to do and stop worrying so much about what others think. It’s human nature to want to be accepted, but honestly, self-happiness is way more important than using your time and energy to try and make others happy before yourself. Love yourself and love your ideas. The rest will follow.
Next step: Start a YouTube channel as an extension of my blog. This is one HUGE thing I have been sitting on for YEARS. But there is always a negative thought that creeps in and takes over. I am GOING to defeat that. You heard it here first. If I don’t do it, please yell at me. J
So thankful if you’ve stuck around to the end of this. Thanks for hearing me out. Love, Keirstin